Meeting Your Needs

At the end of the day the only person responsible for your life, for your happiness, and your wellbeing is you. So, get comfortable meeting your needs. That doesn’t mean you have to handle everything yourself. It also doesn’t mean you can’t rely on others to meet your needs. What it does mean is it is your responsibility to reach out to others and tell them what you need. It means it’s up to you to identify when situations are and are not working for you. It’s up to you to build support systems for yourself and to respond when your needs are not being met. It’s up to you to show up for yourself.

The first time I was asked what I needed in a situation was one of the hardest questions I’ve been asked. I had never really thought about it. What did I need? I had no idea. I knew when things felt good, I knew when things felt bad. However, identifying and asking for what I needed and answering honestly (not just saying it’s all good when it’s not) was a foreign concept to me. I was an attorney, I advocated for others all the time. However, advocating for myself, before things reached a tipping point and I felt like I had to fight for myself, was a foreign concept.

Learning how to identify and communicate my needs to a partner or a friend has become a huge life hack. It allows me to make adjustments before things become an issue. It’s also a great trust building activity both with myself and those around me. Consistently spending time to identify and take action to meet my needs has built confidence around the fact that when I need me, I’ll be there. It reinforced that I can trust myself to take care of me. In regards to others, it’s an act of vulnerability to honestly communicate what you need from people. When individuals in your life take those needs seriously and act accordingly, it builds authentic trust and connection.

It’s up to you to take care of you. One day you’ll see you’re your greatest gift.