Sometimes life gets heavy. “Negative emotions” get strong and prevent us from feeling like ourselves. I put negative emotions in quotations because I think they’ve been given the short end of the stick. Negative emotions are vital to human growth and development. They communicate things about ourselves and our lives. Although happy emotions get all the praise, negative emotions are vital to living satisfying lives aligned with our core values. They need to be felt. They tell us when we need to pivot, when we need to make a change.
While appreciating what negative emotions add to our lives, we can simultaneously recognize that no one likes feeling bad for too long . We don’t want our negative emotions to control us or to interfere with our daily life. When they do, when I’m unable to pull myself out of the mud, I call it a spiral.
So, these are the hacks I use to acknowledge, process, and learn from my negative emotions. This is how I prevent negative emptions from becoming a full spiral. To prevent the negativity from allowing me to enjoy my life. These are the hacks I use to get back to myself.
Two vital points: First, sometimes you need to extend yourself some grace and take a break. Call out of work, curl into a ball with your favorite fuzzy blanket and watch some feel good TV! Embrace the spiral. Embrace the suck. These hacks are for when you’re done with the negativity and want to get your life back on track. Second, these hacks are not supposed to prevent you from feeling negative emotions. Humans have negative emotions for a reason, they teach us things. It’s important not to block or numb negative emotions, but to really feel them. You don’t have to be scared of negativity; we should invite it to sit at the table with us. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling bad. There is nothing wrong with life becoming overwhelming. But we don’t want to experience bad feelings more often than not. We don’t want them to prevent us from enjoying life or going about our days. These are tips and tricks that have worked for me personally. I am not a doctor. Nor am I a mental health professional. As stated below, if your symptoms are becoming unmanageable you should contact your doctor and a mental health professional. Getting help is the strongest thing you can do.
Get to know yourself:
This is important to work on everyday no matter what mood you’re in.
- Get in tune with your body. When you are in tune with your body you can recognize when you start to feel bad as soon as it happens. Bring your negative emotions into the light, don’t ignore them or shove them into the closet. Negative emotions thrive in darkness. Push them into the light by identifying what you are feeling. When you Identify what you are experiencing it makes it less intimidating. If you feel like you’re starting to feel depressed, be transparent with yourself that you’re starting to feel depressed. Tell those close to you or your therapist that you’re feeling depressed. Don’t hide it, don’t keep it a secret. Secrets make you sick.
- Once you know the emotion you are feeling, pin point what is making you feel that way. Try to trace your symptoms back to the cause of the feeling. Once you’re able to identify what it is in your life that is causing you to suffer, or to live out of alignment, you can begin to make changes to get back into alignment or to shift your perspective.
Preventative Measures:
Preventative measures are doing genuine things that you enjoy. Things you do when you’re feeling good that will make you more equipped to deal with negative emotions in a healthy manner when bad days arise. Consistently living your life in a way that makes you feel your best will make it less likely that bad moods will evolve into full blown spirals.
Picture yourself as a tree. Your preventative measures are the strong roots you plant into the ground. When a storm comes, they will prevent you from falling.
- Stay hydrated. I know you’ve heard it before but it’s true. Sometimes the difference between a good mood and a bad mood is a glass of water. And no one can deal with bad news or stressful situations when they’re dehydrated, it’s just facts. Staying hydrated promotes cardiovascular health, increases energy and brain function, helps joints and muscles function correctly & cleanses your body to name a few. Zac Efron’s Netflix series, ‘Down to Earth,’ has an episode on water. It’s very informational, I can’t recommend it enough.
- Nutrition. Consistently give your body whole foods. Protein, fruits and vegetables. Your body and mind cannot deal well with stress while hungry. A well rounded meal is going to give your body more resources to draw from than a processed box of cookies. Figure out the foods that make your body feel and run it’s best. Determining what works for you requires a level of honesty with yourself. A good rule of thumb is to eat more fruits & veggies. Try to add more colors from plants to your plate. Reds, greens, purples, yellows- eat the rainbow in veggies and fruits. Sometimes it’s hard to keep fresh fruit on hand, so keep frozen fruits and veggies in the freezer. Whatever you’re eating, add an extra helping of veggies. Sprinkle some green juices in and now you’re cooking with fire.
- Declutter your home & workplace. This may not be true for everyone but in order for my head to be decluttered, my house has to be decluttered and organized. Waking up to a messy house on top of some bad news is a recipe for disaster for me. Since I know this about myself, I try to keep my house in order.
- Surround yourself with people and things that bring positivity and value into your life. There’s a saying that you become the sum of the 5 people you hang out with the most. Take inventory of your life, your calendar, your social media accounts. Who are you devoting your precious energy too?
- A. Animals. They are so therapeutic; they also provide a sense of purpose. They can sense when you’re having a hard time. We can learn from them; they show us a simpler way to look at the world. Do your research and be honest about if you have the energy and financial means required to properly care for an animal for its entire life. If you do, adding one to your family could be just what you were looking for. Animals have guided me through some of my darkest times.
- B. Plants. Less commitment than animals. They help purify the air you’re breathing and there is something therapeutic about taking care of another living creature. If weather permits, start a garden, grow some of your own food!
- C. Put your energy into relationships that make you feel good. Foster positive friendships and family ties. Don’t put your energy into people and relationships that leave you feeling bad. Ask yourself what value people are bringing into your life.
- D. Social Media. Remove accounts that leave you feeling bad. Remove accounts that aren’t bringing you value. Time is a limited resource. Don’t spend even one second scrolling through information that is doing nothing for you.
- E. Do things you’re passionate about. Try new hobbies. Start your passion project.
- Mindset. Actively look for the good in life. Journal. Make a daily habit of writing out things you are grateful for and things you are excited for. This will help shift your perspective. The more you look for the good, the more practice your mind will have in looking for the good even when bad news hits.
- Sleep. Are you getting enough sleep? 7-9 hour range is healthy. 5 hours is not ideal. Neither is 13. Invest in things that will increase your quality of sleep. Get the pillows you love. Put computers, tablets, and phones away at least an hour before bed. Purchase a salt lamp and let it glow before bed. Put some lavender essential oils in your diffuser.
- Nature. Regularly spend time outside. No matter what season it is, get outside and experience what that season has to offer.
- Exercise. Make a goal to move your body every day. You don’t have to move mountains, just consistently move your body. Go for a walk, do some yoga, lift some weights. Whatever you personally enjoy doing.
- Therapy. Just like your body needs to be worked out, so does your mind. Everyone, and I cannot emphasis this enough, everyone can benefit from therapy. And the people saying they don’t need it are probably the individuals who need it the most. It’s a sad truth that not everyone has the same access to therapy. Depending on your health insurance, you may not have the means to pay for therapy. I look at mental health as an investment, you’re investing in yourself. There are also many online therapists that cost less than traditional therapy. Shop around, find a therapist you can vibe with.
Those are some of the tools I have in my mental health tool box for when I’m feeling good, to help keep me feeling my best. Take what works for you and leave what doesn’t. Mental health is heath, take care of yourself!