Let it hurt, then let it heal. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad, with being unhappy, or with anger. When you have negative emotions feel them. Don’t push them away, don’t pretend they aren’t there. Acknowledge them, bring awareness to what you’re feeling, get curious …
We go out of the way for the people we love. It’s often how we show them we love and support them. We make extravagant homemade dinners for our families, we pick out the perfect presents for our friends, we buy bagels for our meetings …
Everything in life is temporary. So when you feel content and satisfied, ground yourself in that feeling. If you’re used to chaos it can be tempting to focus on if or when things may go wrong. Worrying about all the ways your peace can be disturbed won’t better prepare you to deal if it is. Anxiously anticipating will merely take away from the joyful moment’s life offers us. Those joyful moments are what make up a good life. Don’t skip though the good to prepare for what’s next, resist that urge. Sink into the good. If you are content, let life simply be good.
Journal about the good, write daily lists of all that you’re thankful for, smile to yourself. Pause to notice the simple delightful things around you. Lean into the positive energy. By doing this you’ll attract more of the good stuff instead of abruptly ending it.
The holidays are a joyful time of year for many but it can also be overwhelming. It’s the season of more. Many times that’s more love, more yummy food, more warmth, more family, more rest. But it’s also more money spent, more parties to attend, more cooking to be done, more conversations to be had, more expectations you want to meet. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and drained it doesn’t mean you’re a grinch, it means you’re human. It’s normal and it happens.
If you are able to step away this holiday season without it having the adverse effect of making you more stressed once it’s time to step back in, that’s great. Keep doing that. But if you find your stepping away is creating more stress than perhaps it’s doing more harm than good. Here’s 7 tips to combat overwhelm this holiday season.
And that’s what I wish I would have told my younger self when she was called “too much” of anything. That she was perfectly enough. That the people who didn’t see it that way, simply weren’t her people. And that is okay. That those individuals’ thoughts on her too-much-ness meant everything about them and nothing about her. They could go find less. I did not have to make myself less to keep others comfortable.
I have a blog post about how to be confident, I’ll link that post here. You can practice confidence. It is entirely possible to make yourself more confident. But what do you do when you don’t have time to build your confidence before doing something? What do you do when your stomach turns with anxiety no matter how much you try to change your mindset surrounding a task? There may be some areas of our life in which you will never be fully confident. What do you do when one of these situations arise? What do you do when confidence fails you?
When confidence fails, courage prevails. If you aren’t confident about something but you want to do it, you need courage. Put your brave face on and just do it. Tell yourself the truth, that the world needs more people doing what you are doing. That there are others watching you. That by doing this thing, despite your fears, you are showing people that they can do it too. You are showing others how to be brave. You are showing, through your actions that others can face the hard stuff and come out of the other side alive. When confidence fails, courage prevails.
How do you make your life feel less chaotic? How do you take steps towards your goals instead of merely treading water to make it through the day? You do it by running your day instead of letting your day run you. By intentionally and mindfully completing projects instead of reacting to every stimulus thrown your way.
Humans have a hard time admitting we play a part in the problems we’re experiencing. Our egos get in the way. The problems could be anything. Ranging from trouble sticking to healthy habits and going after personal goals, to problems in relationships with others. It’s …
When I confided in people that I felt stressed, burnt out, or tired, I was often met with responses similar to “me too” or “get in line.” Even better was the person who felt the need to prove they were more stressed than I was. As if stress was a badge of honor to be worn proudly. These responses lead me to believe that stress was a normal part of life. That if I was stressed, I was doing something right. That it somehow proved that I was working hard enough. I believed I would have to come to terms with living in a state of constant stress. But this didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel natural.
Evolutionarily stress was a great survival technique because it notified our ancestors when a situation wasn’t right. It told our bodies when we needed to fight or flee a threat. It made sure our ancestors knew when the stakes were high, when a loss would be detrimental. If a sabretooth tiger visited the cave they were hunkered down in night after night, the stress from the encounters would propel them to leave the unsafe situation. It would drive them to seek new shelter. We aren’t meant to stay in situations that cause us stress day after day. We evolved to listen to stress when it arose and to then adjust our lives accordingly. We wouldn’t say to our fellow cave folk, “Yeah it sucks the predator keeps coming to your house, but that’s just a part of life” we’d say “move your house!” I’m dramatizing the caveperson/sabretooth tiger visual but I think you get the idea. We wouldn’t justify the stress of the tiger as part of working hard and “making it” in our prehistoric world. We wouldn’t stay in that cave day after day, feeling unwell, until the big cat ate us. So, why are we encouraging people we love to stay in jobs, relationships, commutes, environments that are causing constant stress?
We, as a society, have normalized stress. We’ve integrated it into our daily lives. Accepted it as something we have to deal with. We’ve let it become the status quo. There are individuals whose entire personality could be summed up as stressed.
It’s not healthy to consistently feel like we have to fight or flee. Long term stress is toxic for our bodies, a quick internet search confirms this. Chronic stress negatively affects our immune, digestive, cardiovascular, sleep and reproductive systems. This makes sense. When we were running from the saber toothed tiger on the great plains, we wanted all of our bodies energy to go into running. All of our energy went into surviving. It didn’t matter if our sleep would be affected that night because we were just trying to survive that minute. Our bodies weren’t concerned with digesting our foods or balancing our hormones.
We aren’t our ancestors. Thankfully we are no longer fighting predators every day. We aren’t using all of our energy to merely stay alive. Now we’re trying to promote long term health and happiness. Chronic stress is not conducive to our longevity. So, we have to teach our mind to signal to our bodies that every stress inducing moment we encounter isn’t going to immediately cause us harm. We have to adjust our perspectives. We need to tell our bodies that they can relax.
When you start feeling stressed, take a step back from whatever it is you’re doing. Pause, breathe, go for a walk, go outside, meditate, calm your nervous system. Whatever is causing you stress can wait until you’re able to shift your mindset away from a fight or flight response. Reassure your body and your mind that this situation isn’t going to kill you. That you are perfectly capable of handling it. It’s hard to shift your mindset at first. To retrain how your body and mind react to stressors in your life. But it’s entirely possible. It’s a skill that you can practice and hone in on and use whenever you may need it. Whenever life gets heavy.
If you find yourself unable to get away from constant stress in your life, believe me I’ve been there! No matter what your life currently looks like, a more relaxed life filled with joy is within your reach. Schedule a coaching session with me! We will use the method I worked through myself to identify and work through the difficulties you are facing! A life with less stress is one click away!
