We abandon ourselves every day. We say yes when we want to say no. We eat foods low in nutrients when we want to eat healthy. We agree to stay late at work even though we’re tired. We forgo our daily routines that help us feel our best.

There are so many unique ways to abandon yourself. Personalized acts of self-betrayal. Stop choosing to participate in behaviors that you know are going to leave you feeling burnt out, sad, irritable, or out of control.

Make getting to know yourself a priority. Learn what makes you feel satisfied. Put your energy into things that make you feel good. Failing to know yourself is a form of self-abandonment in and of itself.  

At first self-abandonment may seem small and insignificant, maybe even self-righteous. Helping your friend when you are already overwhelmed. Agreeing to go out to dinner when you want to stay in. Being in a wedding party you don’t have money for. But these things add up. Choose wisely. The more you let your boundaries slip, the more likely you are to let them slip in the future. The more you allow your boundaries to be crossed, the more resentful you become.

Remember this life is a journey, a learning experiment. Extend yourself grace. Perfection is fake. Sometimes self-love is intentionally choosing not to work out today, having an extra tequila shot, going to a party to support someone you love even though you’ll be tired the next day. Self-abandonment is beating yourself up just because you stepped out of line. Accept and love yourself through it all, don’t judge yourself. You are enough just as you are in this present moment. 

When privileged to live in communities where basic needs are met, there is no honor in sacrificing who you are for your definition of the greater good. There is no honor in putting yourself last. No admirable sacrifice in putting others needs before your own. In a world telling you to step in line with the status quo, have the courage to dictate what is best for you. Be brave enough to do the work to determine what is best for you. Trust that you know your own way. Show others they can bravely forge their own way.