Sometimes happiness hits you, but most of the time it’s a choice you make. It’s something you have to purposefully create not happen upon. Becoming aware of this and intentionally creating happiness in the normalcy is where sustainable happiness lies.
Take an audit of your life today and see where your energy is being used. Are you being drawn into other people’s problems, the news, social media? Where are you expending your precious energy and focus? This is energy that could be used to reach your own personal goals. Instead of scrolling social media you could be connecting with your partner. Instead of getting sucked into drama you can be getting your work done. Put your energy into things that are going to fill your cup or leave you feeling accomplished, not drained.
Gentle reminder: You don’t need to fight the old in order to do things differently. Simply put your energy into doing things in a new way. Lovingly release what’s no longer serving you and turn towards what is.
You have a limited amount of time and energy each and every day. Whatever energy you use ruminating over past mistakes or revolting against outdated systems is less energy you have to build the new. I encourage you instead of consistently fighting the old, to put your energy into consistently creating the new. If last week’s patterns didn’t bring you closer to your goals, don’t ruminate over it. Put your focus into the new week laid out in front of you and ways you can improve. Fighting the old keeps you stuck in the old. By putting your energy into the old, even though it’s things you don’t want, you are still feeding it with energy. You’re still giving the things you don’t want your attention which will help them grow. If you put energy into creating the new, this will move the dial towards results you want to see and will get you closer to where you want to be.
Next time you want to make changes think of this principle. Imagine your goal is to get up earlier. Examine how you’re going about trying to get up earlier. Are you spending your energy talking down to yourself for pressing snooze yesterday or are you setting yourself up tonight so you have a better chance of success tomorrow?
Each day you’re given a specific amount of energy and time, how you choose to use it makes a difference. Make sure you’re creating what you want and not keeping yourself stuck in what you don’t.
Do your best. We hear this statement often. And what does it mean? Feeling you did your best should enable you to go to sleep at night feeling fulfilled and satisfied with the activities you engaged in that day. Wanting to do your best encourages you to put forth the effort needed to meet your goals. How do you define your best? The answer depends on your individual goals and gets harder to navigate the more you look outside yourself for the meaning.
There is a period, the time of which is different for everyone, where a gap exists between knowing better and doing better. It is when you have taken the step of becoming self-aware of what habits are no longer serving you, or are hindering you from enjoying your life, however you find yourself continuing to fall into the same unhealthy patterns nonetheless.
Our tendency to fall back into what’s familiar, even if it’s not what’s best for us is why it’s imperative to make healthy coping habits part of your daily routine. Don’t solely keep healthy habits in your back pocket for when life gets hard. Practice them and strengthen them. This will reinforce the positive consequences of their use. The more practice you have, the more familiar these habits will become. The more familiar the healthy habit, especially when times get rough, the more likely you will turn to it instead of a destructive habit.
We’re heading into the new year! This is a time when we become inspired to create new habits and go after new (or old) goals. It’s a fresh start, a blank slate.
Although the newfound inspiration that comes with the new year is great, it will eventually wane. Most people stop working towards new year goals within the first 21 days of setting them. Setting goals and having dreams is important. They are what keep us evolving and prevent us from feeling stuck. However, we can’t simply wish our dreams into existence. We have to identify what we want and then follow through and do the work to reach them. To continue on when inspiration is fleeting, dedication and focus must take over.
To commit to your goals; you have to consistently work on them. If you find yourself having a hard time staying on track and focused then take an audit of the things you’re consuming.
Whenever I find myself in a lull, or like I’m “stuck”, I take inventory of the things I’m consuming. I can usually pinpoint where my energy is being used where I’d prefer it to go towards other things.
Energy and focus are finite resources. At some point during the day, they’re going to run out. When we want to evolve, it’s important we use our energy and our ability to focus to create things we want to and not let it dwindle away.
If you have goals but find yourself struggling to execute, sit down and take an honest look at what you’re consuming. This includes social media, television, people, text messages, family members, gossip, the news. All of it. Where are you putting your energy? Are these things inspiring you? Do you leave interactions with people feeling energized or are you left feeling drained and exhausted? Do you go on tik tok for a 5 minute work break and then 45 minutes later find yourself crying over a video of a dog that passed away? (I may or may not be speaking from personal experience.) When you scroll on social media are you inundated by the next catastrophe or do you find tips on how to be more productive? Are you watching House Wives of New Jersey or are you meditating? I’m not saying one is better than the other. What I am saying is what you consume either fuels your energy or sucks it from you. Be discerning. Take note of what leaves you feeling good and like you can conquer what you have set out for yourself. Do more of those things. Don’t go on social media until your work for the day is done. Replace the news playing in the background with uplifting music. The hundreds of different pulls for our attention through the day takes energy and focus from us. It adds up. Be intentional about what you consume and make sure it isn’t preventing you from getting where you want to be. Curate your environment to set you up for success, it makes a huge difference.
