Go Deep

About 10 years ago there was an article on Humans of New York. The individual being interviewed was asked what advice she had for younger generations. Her response was when a wave comes, go deep. The meaning I have assigned to this advice has evolved over the years, it’s fluidity like the ocean. Every few years I uncover a deeper meaning.

At first, I thought it was advice against procrastination. Advice against putting the hard stuff off. When you see a wave of to-dos coming your way, get under it. Don’t stand there and let it build until it crashes into you. Get after it, get under it.

That first diagnostic? It still holds true. And it’s evolved into more. I’ve uncovered this metaphor is an “and” not an “or.”

When emotional waves hit you, don’t accept them as what they first present. Go deep. When experiencing anger, don’t accept the anger as the sole emotion. Although it sometimes presents strongest, it often isn’t the primary emotion. Over the years I’ve learned to pause. Instead of running with the strong emotion, go deeper than that initial strong feeling. Get curious about how your emotions are presenting and how you are actually feeling. Often when you dig deep you find there is much more at play than your initial reaction. Anger usually protects vulnerable feelings like hurt, disappointment, or fear.

Look for the why behind your actions. Behind others actions. Behind your relationships. Authentic connection with yourself and with others comes from vulnerability and honesty. But in order to be vulnerable and honest with yourself and others you need to go deep. You need to dive down beneath the surface waves and figure out what’s really going on. What emotions you’re really experiencing, not just the emotions that jump up to protect you.

I suspect this meaning will continue to evolve and I hope it does. As humans we are constantly changing and evolving as we learn and gather experience. When given the opportunity to go deep, take it.

To learn more about how to go deep and how to develop the self-awareness necessary to do it, click here to schedule your free introductory coaching call.