Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Take a moment to really think about that, let it sink in. No one can make you feel a certain way. Your feelings and thoughts are entirely your own. They are a summation of your past experiences and the way you have trained your brain to interpret events. No one can go into your brain and narrate your thoughts and feelings for you. The only person in control of your thoughts and feelings is you. Circumstances are neutral. We are the ones who attach feelings, thoughts, and emotions to external events.

            If someone says or does something in a way that makes us feel “bad” we can choose to let that go. Instead, we attach meanings and ruminate on other peoples’ actions. We make others’ actions somehow mean something about us. But the truth is other peoples’ opinions of us are none of our business. What does matter is if we have high opinions of ourselves, if we are happy with how we are behaving. Not what other people think.

            Next time you start to let yourself feel bad about what someone is saying about you, remember you are choosing to let yourself feel bad. You can choose for it to mean nothing about you. People who speak badly about others usually have turmoil within themselves. Take their actions for what they are, a “them” problem and let it go. Choose the higher feeling thought. Don’t let it become personal. Remember, the only way someone can make you feel inferior is if you let them. Don’t let them.