If I’m Too Much, Go Find Less

I heard a quote recently, source unknown, that resonated with me, “if I’m too much, go find less.” I’ve been told I’m too much numerous times throughout my life. That I’m too loud, too excitable, don’t know when to stop, too big, too small, too provocative, too shy, too loud, that I try too hard, that I don’t try enough. You name it, I’ve likely been too much of it.

Recently, someone commented that my dog was “too much.” Their intention was not to offend me or my dog, they thought it was a comment made in jest. However, I was triggered. I vehemently defended my dog’s honor. Telling the individual that my perfect puppy was not too much. He was, in fact, perfectly enough.

Whenever you are triggered by something, take it as an opportunity to explore that thing further. Usually, what triggers us is also what we need to heal. The truth is sometimes my dog is excitable. He’s gets hyped up when he sees the people he loves. Sometimes in his excitement he forgets his manners. He’ll jump on you with wet paws, and he loves to lick faces. And although sometimes inconvenient for others, those things are not flaws. They are part of what makes him, him. I love how his face lights up when he sees the people he loves, how his tail wags uncontrollably, how his feet dance in a happy little dance, and how he wants to get as close as possible to us when we come home. That might be seen by some people as too much, some people may not appreciate him jumping up and licking their faces. But these people simply aren’t his people. I, however, am his people. I appreciate and love every part of him. Even when he sometimes forgets his manners in his rush of excitement to see us. Even when he sometimes accidentally scratches me in his rush to say “hi, I’m so happy you’re back.”

And that’s what I wish I would have told my younger self when she was called “too much” of anything. That she was perfectly enough. That the people who didn’t see it that way, simply weren’t her people. And that is okay. That those individuals’ thoughts on her too-much-ness meant everything about them and nothing about her. They could go find less. I did not have to make myself less to keep others comfortable.