The holidays are a time of gathering. There are parties and more interactions with family and friends. It is a time of joy, excitement, and reconnection with loved ones. For many, the holidays can also come with their fair share of stressors. Keep stress levels …
There are no wrong emotions, they all are valid. We cannot control how we feel about circumstances or events. Your truth is your truth. The initial feelings you have in response to events are always okay.
What you can control is how you choose to react and respond even when emotions are heightened. Just because your feelings and emotions are valid, doesn’t mean they give you an excuse to behave however you want. It’s important to keep in mind that your initial emotions do not consider many factors you’d prefer to consider when thinking with a rational mind and not one overcome with strong feelings. Your emotions do not consider your goals, the relationships you’d like to keep, or the work you’ve put in thus far.
In our world, for those of us who are fortunate enough to have our basic needs met, the constant negativity bias is no longer necessary for survival. The negativity bias, which was once an adaptive advantage, can therefore become maladaptive. So much so that a negative event can be detrimental to our work, relationships, health and happiness. Continually viewing things through the lens of the negativity bias can increase stress levels, impair our happiness and general quality of life. It also makes it harder to be patient and giving towards others.
Fortunately, there is a way to change the brain’s negativity bias. First, bring awareness to the fact that “bad” comes through stronger than “good.” Then, it’s a matter of training our brains for positivity. Actively become more attuned to positive emotions such as joy, contentment, pride, and love. Studies claim that for a positive experience to get into our long-term memory we should hold it in our field of attention for at least 10-20 seconds or it could disappear. This helps with sensitizing the amygdala to focus more on the good.
A strong and intentional morning routine is the key to a great day. It’s great to make your morning routine a priority, but the truth is we don’t always have hours to dedicate to it. Sometimes we sleep in, sometimes we have somewhere to be earlier than usual, sometimes we simply don’t have the time. There are a million different reasons. What will set you up for a great day, even when you don’t have much time to devote to yourself, is having a set of non-negotiables. These non-negotiables are activities that you know will help you have the best day that you can.
Before you open yourself up to the outside world and influence, do something for your mind, your body, and your soul. Develop quick practices you can do in each category as your non-negotiables.
Sometimes happiness hits you, but most of the time it’s a choice you make. It’s something you have to purposefully create not happen upon. Becoming aware of this and intentionally creating happiness in the normalcy is where sustainable happiness lies.
I want to bring your attention to your why. So much of what you do day in and day out is done on autopilot. Science estimates that 95 percent of our brain’s activity is unconscious. That means that an overwhelming majority of the decisions you make are done subconsciously. You do things without even fully realizing you’re doing them sometimes. So many people have no idea what the reasoning is behind their actions, emotions, and goals. I want to bring your attention to your why in hopes that you’ll take time to consider it before taking action. In doing this, you’ll bring some of your actions out of subconscious autopilot and into conscious and intentional action. Next time you feel motivated to do something, ask yourself why. When you feel emotional, ask yourself why. Feel hurt by something? Dive into the why.
Looking for vacation destinations that are dog friendly? Look no further than Maine. My partner, Marty, and I visited the state last summer with our dog, Rory, and found it to be extremely dog friendly. The state is especially appealing to those who love the outdoors. If you and your furry friend love hiking, Acadia National Park has it all.
At the end of the day the only person responsible for your life, for your happiness, and your wellbeing is you. So, get comfortable meeting your needs. That doesn’t mean you have to handle everything yourself. It also doesn’t mean you can’t rely on others to meet your needs. What it does mean is it is your responsibility to reach out to others and tell them what you need. It means it’s up to you to identify when situations are and are not working for you. It’s up to you to build support systems for yourself and to respond when your needs are not being met. It’s up to you to show up for yourself.
Take an audit of your life today and see where your energy is being used. Are you being drawn into other people’s problems, the news, social media? Where are you expending your precious energy and focus? This is energy that could be used to reach your own personal goals. Instead of scrolling social media you could be connecting with your partner. Instead of getting sucked into drama you can be getting your work done. Put your energy into things that are going to fill your cup or leave you feeling accomplished, not drained.
Gentle reminder: You don’t need to fight the old in order to do things differently. Simply put your energy into doing things in a new way. Lovingly release what’s no longer serving you and turn towards what is.
