You don’t have to continue repeating patterns that aren’t serving you, you can simply choose again.
Choose to participate in activities that are aligned with your core values. Choose to do things that leave your cup feeling full. By doing so, you choose yourself again and again.
Having a strong why when setting boundaries is like a lighthouse guiding ships to safe harbor on a cloudy day. When you start to lose sight of the shore, it’ll keep you on course. It’s your light of truth that will help you keep your boundaries strong once you’ve set them.
And that’s what I wish I would have told my younger self when she was called “too much” of anything. That she was perfectly enough. That the people who didn’t see it that way, simply weren’t her people. And that is okay. That those individuals’ thoughts on her too-much-ness meant everything about them and nothing about her. They could go find less. I did not have to make myself less to keep others comfortable.
Next time you start to let yourself feel bad about what someone is saying about you, remember you are choosing to let yourself feel bad. You can choose for it to mean nothing about you. People who speak badly about others usually have turmoil within themselves. Take their actions for what they are, a “them” problem and let it go. Choose the higher feeling thought. Don’t let it become personal. Remember, the only way someone can make you feel inferior is if you let them. Don’t let them.
The things that keep me up at night aren’t when I say “too much,” it’s not when I overshare, nor is it when I’ve gone out on a limb and failed. The scenarios that run through my head in the middle of the night are when I’ve kept my mouth shut. When I’ve politely nodded along even though I vehemently disagreed. It’s the times I’ve known I wanted to go for something but stayed put instead. The times I’ve kept my beliefs quiet so I don’t run the chance of making others uncomfortable. The times I’ve stayed in my comfort zone instead of pushing the limits. That’s what keeps me up at night.
You have so much more to offer the world and more importantly, so much more to offer yourself than the hidden battles you are fighting. We all have demons under the bed. Open the shades and bring them into the light, it takes away their power. You can have demons and simultaneously be filled with love and light. The two are not mutually exclusive. It’s your life, you make the rules.
Don’t underestimate the power of mindset work to change the entire trajectory of your life. It may seem like minute changes, but one day you’ll look back and everything will be different.
Time is our most valuable resource. We all want to work efficiently. Here are three hacks to work smarter, not harder.
I crave flexibility as much as I crave routine. There comes a point when doing the same thing day in and day out becomes exhausting and mundane. I have found it vital to my mental health to regularly switch my environment. I love to immerse myself in new places and participate in different activities from my usual. For me, this switches my perspective and keeps my mindset positive. I love immersing myself in different cultures, being around people who think differently than me.
But what sets apart a victim and a victor is not that victims have doubts and fears and victors don’t. Everyone will doubt. Everyone will fear. Everyone at some point will curse the hard road laid out before them. The difference is victims let those thoughts sink them. A victor may get to the bottom, may even drift back down after trying to get to the top, but they will keep swimming up. They’ll keep swimming through the water that feels like mud until their muscles are carved of steel. The victor knows who they are, they know they belong in the sun. And no matter how long it takes, they’ll fight on until they feel it on their skin again.
