How to be Confident

How to be confident. Everyone wants to be confident. We know the tips and tricks to make us appear confident; look people in the eyes, use a firm handshake (pre-Covid), don’t apologize, take “um” out of your vocabulary, speak slowly, keep your shoulders back, your head held high. That’s all great, and faking it until you make it has served me well in the past. But how do you actually become confident? Confident to the point where you don’t care if you occasionally say “um” or if you fidget with your pen while speaking.

I thought this was a complex process that would take years of rewiring. It’s not. This one hack has completely changed my life. It’s completely shifted my perspective and how I see myself. It’s built my confidence to the point that I can honestly show people who I am. They can then take me or leave me. Either way, I’m left relatively unbothered.

You build confidence in yourself by becoming an individual you can trust. By becoming someone you can rely on. A person who does what they say they are going to do. How do you build trust in yourself? By keeping every single promise that you make to yourself. That’s how you build trust. Self-trust is how you build confidence. It’s that simple. Think of the person you value the most, the person you would never forsake. Think of the one person you would never break a promise to. That person should be yourself. If it’s not, from now on, think of yourself as the person you would never let down. By doing this, you’ll become the person you trust the most in this world. The more promises you make and keep to yourself, the more confident you will become. If you tell yourself you’re going to workout later, workout later. If you tell yourself you’re going to clean your room, clean your room. If you say you’re going to save more money, save more money. If you say you’re going to bed early tonight, go to bed early. Become someone you can rely on. This way, when you say you’re going to do something  you won’t need to second guess or question whether you’ll follow through. You will already know you keep your word.

It’s amazing how this works. Try it out, you’ll see your confidence rise almost immediately. Start with something simple, like cooking dinner at home Monday nights. Once you have one promise down pat,  keep building on it. Don’t let your mind come up with excuses. If you tell yourself you are going to do something, do it. With every promise that you keep, your confidence will go up. So now when others question you it won’t matter because you won’t question you. Others opinions won’t shake you, because you’ll know who you are.